Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Marriage Equality: Close (Yet So Far Away)

The New Jersey Senate Judiciary Committee voted last night to support a bill that would establish same-sex marriage in New Jersey, providing full equality for married gay couples. It was an important measure of progress, for sure, but in a state where a recent Rutgers-Eagleton Poll showed that same-sex marriage enjoys popular support, the 7-6 vote goes to show just how hard, even in the most progressive of states, it is for our courts and legislatures to act social change.

I'll admit, I take pride in making efforts to understand all sides of an issue, the pros and cons, and always try to understand why people might feel differently than I do. This is one issue where I just don't understand the opposition to same-sex marriage. I would understand it (though I wouldn't agree), if the whole of the opposition were in the name of religion, but when so many marriages, including my own, are conducted secularly, it just makes no sense. Further, while people can choose to make marriage a religious function, the fact that judges and elected officials can preside over a marriage is proof (if we needed any) that marriage is not necessarily a religious event.

So, if it's not for religious reasons, then I'm left to believe that people oppose same-sex marriage because they simply don't think gay people should get married and that marriage is an exclusive institution between a man and woman. This is not an acceptable position, and it's not the role of our courts and lawmakers to enact exclusionary laws -- particularly laws that exclude a certain portion of the population from enjoying all of the legal rights involved in a domestic union.

Also, I should have said this first, but opposition to same-sex marriage is just unabashedly wrong. Believing that only certain people should get married is fundamentally at odds with basic, inalienable rights.

SO, thanks to Hank Kalet, a newspaper editor here in New Jersey, here is a list of legislators we're asking everyone to call who are on the fence. Please take action.
  • Sen. Diane B. Allen, Republican
  • 11 West Broad St., Burlington, NJ 08016 (609) 239-2800

  • Sen. Christopher Bateman, Republican
    36 East Main St., Somerville, NJ 08876 (908) 526-3600

  • Sen. Jennifer Beck, Republican
    32 Monmouth St., 3rd Floor, Red Bank, NJ 07701 (732) 933-1591

  • Sen. John A. Girgenti, Democrat
    507 Lafayette Avenue, Hawthorne, NJ 07506 (973) 427-1229

  • Sen. Paul A. Sarlo, Democrat
    207 Hackensack St., 2nd Floor, Wood-Ridge, NJ 07075 (201) 804-8118

  • Sen. Jeff Van Drew, Democrat
    21 North Main St., Cape May Court House, NJ 08210 (609) 465-0700
    1124 North High St., Millville, NJ 08332 (856) 765-0891
    1028 East Landis Ave., Vineland, NJ 08360 (856) 696-7109
    Additional Phone, Somers Point, NJ (609) 926-3779

  • Sen. Jim Whelan, Democrat
  • 511 Tilton Rd., Northfield, NJ 08225 (609) 383-1388

2 comments:

PB said...

Like you I've tried to put myself in the place of the opposition. The way I figure it, gay marriage can't not be seen as an attack on religion, if you're one to believe that civil laws have and always should derive from "universal" laws codified in ye old old testament. If you say something is wrong, but civil law says it's okay, it directly erodes your influence and relevance. Simple as that.

Anonymous said...

That's a good reading of the opposition, Peter, but frankly, I've never heard it presented in such a cogent manner. That cerebral reading of the opposition is mostly lost when most opposed simply believe that any government function certifying same-sex couples as legitimate and legal unions is wrong because, they think, homosexuality is wrong based on their Biblical interpretation. I still maintain, however, that the argument fails because so many marriages are conducted outside of the church and are strictly functions of government as far as the government is concerned.